John 15:13~ “The greatest love you can have for your friends is to give your life for them.”
Finding friendship is hard. Real friends, you know the true kind. See, I have nobody to hang with and I haven’t had anyone to hang with in years. I truly feel so alone. I am a great friend. I’ll stand up for you and be there when you need me, no matter what. Only thing I ask is you do the same. Every time I get a good friend they either move away or they end up stabbing me in the back. Hurting me tremendously. 😦 I close my heart off to ppl. Shutting them out because of the hurt. Then I find somebody else that seems like a true friend. You know, the kind that only comes from God? Then I get hurt, closing my heart off, once again. So I never have anybody to hang with because of it. I just want a true friend who shows me respect and loyalty in the friendship and I want to hang out a lot more than once or twice. I want a friendship that can only come from God. A God given “Best Friend”.
When I make plans, I have nobody to invite because when I invite all my friends (that I think I have) to do things with me, nobody even shows up. My birthday, I wanted to throw a party. Nobody came, but family. I threw a Memorial Day party and nobody came, once again, but family. I make plans and invite in advance and nobody still comes.
I go on Facebook and see everybody posting pics and statuses about having girls day/night out or going and doing this/that. I don’t have that kind of friendship, to hang with them. I don’t have a best friend to call my sister. Nobody sticks with me long enough. Is there something wrong with me? All my friends only communicate through Facebook and even then we barely talk. I don’t hang or talk to any of them outside of Facebook either, except my family members (Including the in-laws). I have been praying for years and years for a small handful of some girl friends and nothing yet. Some I could call my sisters. I decided to pray and read my bible. Let God heal my brokenness. Honestly, is there something wrong with me? Maybe that’s why nobody wants to hang with me! I feel like I’ll never have that friend I have been praying for. I know I have my hubby, but every girl needs a small handful of girl friends to have some girl time.
God has been reminding me that I am perfect just the way He made me. That nothing is wrong with me. Psalms 139:14~ “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” So why do I still feel so alone in this world? Why do I still feel like there is something wrong with me?